Saturday, 27 October 2007

• on risk and whispers

  The end of October rolled around quickly this year, or so I've been telling myself. I'm now more than halfway through my second-to-last semester of graduate school, and the big question these days is: then what? Maybe I'll play the starving artist card and write literary novels while scratching out a living as a Starbucks barrista. (My family would be so proud!) Or I could get a job as a flight attendant so I could travel and research the settings of the books I want to write. I could try to get a job at a publishing company, or Compassion International. I would love to eventually get a PhD and teach at the college level - but not having an area of specialization presents a bit of a problem - what would I teach? And as far as location, I could stay here in Colorado, move back to Indiana, or live practically anywhere in the world. Or, or, or ... I'll consider anything once. Or possibly multiple times. I know, I know - I'm such a risk-taker.
  
  The thing that I believe - but still have to convince myself of repeatedly - is that God is not confused. In fact, not only does He know what I'm going to be doing less than 7 months from now, He is even now preparing me for it. He does not ask me to stew myself crazy trying to FIGURE IT OUT! All He expects of me is that I exercise my somewhat-flabby faith muscles by choosing to trust Him with my past, present ,and future - every bit of it - and that I snuggle up close enough to Him to hear the still, small words He whispers to my heart when He decides I'm ready.
  
  The risk is in the responding. Because try as I might, I can't always be sure I'm hearing from Him accurately. I can do my best to soak myself in His word and use the wisdom He gives to discern His will from the servants and circumstances He sends, but in the end, there's always an element of cliff-jumping to it all. Not exactly the most reassuring thought for a comfort-loving creature like myself.
  
  Yet the lure of adventure and the unknown has an irresistible tang, even for me.
  
  
  
  P.S. For those who are interested - or merely curious - I passed my comprehensive exams with the proverbial flying colors. Hooray!
  
  
  
  
  

  Currently Reading Anna Karenina By Leo Tolstoy, Richard Pevear, Larissa Volokhonsky see related

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